Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
