Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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