Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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