I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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