I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
