I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
