I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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