I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
wow bdsm is so cute
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
