I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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