Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
