I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
