i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
