so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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