Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
