I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
