You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
