Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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