dude i'm inner monologue high
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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