youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize