it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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