wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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