I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
