I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
