did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
