Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize