Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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