i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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