No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
