we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
