dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
