had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize