real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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