I will die if light touches me.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
