So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Randomize