I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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