He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
