We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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