Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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