Umm I'm too high to move.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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