trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
