i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
