i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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