im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
