I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude i'm inner monologue high
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
