is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
