Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
