well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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