you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
