your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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