im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
