How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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