White coat. Heels.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
