it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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