just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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