He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
