I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize