I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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