At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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