Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
